Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found your dick twin last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
