And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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