Hey man sorry I got all grabby
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
