We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
