its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
