what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
