I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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