if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
