Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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