just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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