Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sext me about skeletons
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
