Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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