laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My balls are so social today.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
