OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
