My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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