I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
this hospital has no fireball
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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