best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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