Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's not a walk of shame if you run
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
