i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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