In the future we'll all be gay
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize