She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
