He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
