there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I will pee on everything he values.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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