...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
