i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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