I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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