This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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