Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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