Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
