he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
third nipple confirmed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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