I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
