They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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