I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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