Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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