And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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