Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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