yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
