dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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