4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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