did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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