Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
