Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry about my life...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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