its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
