Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
