I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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