It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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