it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
