Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
