whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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