Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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