he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
