This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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