it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
