well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's official drugs can't kill me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
