what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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