I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
