The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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