mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
