I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
