Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
