Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
