I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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