guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
