i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
