in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
